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it's been a short couple of months [07 Oct 2009|09:25pm]
[ mood | peaceful ]

hi lj,
i know, long hiatus since january
but it's only felt like a few seconds

i've been living fast
i moved out of the city to oak park
it's off the end of the green line and my neighbors are sweet
last year i stopped talking to a lot of the people i still care a lot about
i was going through a lot, and needed some space for myself to explore new things
but now we've grown distant and most of them refuse to re-connect with me
i've made a lot of really awesome new friends
but i want my old ones back, too.


[15 Jan 2009|06:46pm]

break, new years, and my birthday were awesome

i have a few new friends and i think 2009 will be a good year

it's really cold out right now
too cold to go outside actually

where can i find $300???
3 luv?

lack of camera [20 Dec 2008|06:55pm]
haven't had a camera lately or a place to upload some older photos ... so i'll just show you what i've ordered for myself for christmas.

i also got a freepeople dress i can't find a picture of online

blahhh... i need more tops/long sleeved shirts and so on but i guess i will have to go out and go shopping this weekend. i haven't been to chicago or seen danny in over a week and i'm so sad about that. :( i miss him an awful lot. i can't wait to get back to the city to celebrate new years and my birthday!! i still don't know what i'm doing for my birthday (and i don't really care, just as long as there's a bunch of us getting fucked up together and having a fun time) and then for new years i'll either be doing the same thing as i do for my birthday or possibly going to see Justice (which i really don't want to do) or going to see my neighbor dave dj at a private party with an open bar!!! i'd really like to do the latter because my neighbor dave and his girlfriend are so much fun!
3 luv?

[23 Nov 2008|08:29am]

haven't updated in a long while. everything is pretty strange right now. if i would have asked myself a month or two ago what my life would be like right now, i couldn't have anticipated the way things currently are. i'm displeased but hopeful for the future. the past is in front of me because i know what already happened. the future is behind me because i cannot see it clearly and do not know what is coming. change, that's for sure. i'm walking backwards.
4 luv?

halloween [04 Nov 2008|08:09pm]

halloween was a goodz time!!!
we went to a nice loft party and danny and i went for a beautiful walk to the lake in the morning.

i didn't do much in the following days.
i made a big mistake today.
my heart hurts a lot.

i usually say i have no regrets but this time i wish i could just take back the past and have a re-do. or just push edit >> undo.

[26 Oct 2008|07:08am]
wow i've been super busy.

i'm (????) thinking of moving back to madison.

i'm really happy living in chicago but it's so expensive and sometimes i just want to lay back and relax but there's no room to do that. if i moved back to madison i could live in my favorite part of town in an adorable 2 bedroom apartment my parents own. it would be so cute. i'd have to go to school but i think i'd get more work done in madison because there's not as much going on here. plus i could probably handle a job. but then i'd be missing out on all the huge multi-cultural opportunities that chicago offers (pretty essential to my major). my biggest problem in life right now is wanting to do so many things and worrying i won't have time or just won't be able to do them all. i'm pretty sure i'm not going to finish school at depaul, and i guess right now i'm thinking about staying in chicago and transferring to columbia, picking up all my shit and straight up moving to peru, or coming back to madison ... or what if i just pack my bags and just hitchhike around the country until i feel like coming home?? but where would that be??

it's funny because i'm homesick right now and i'm in madison, at "home".
3 luv?

[15 Oct 2008|04:01am]

i had a lovely lovely weekend
friday, i went to a loft-party that got busted but then i got delicious mexican food
then saturay morning i met up with danny and we took a day-time nap and then jennie came for a visit!! i also met her friend, who goes to depaul and we had a ridiculous time... rather, i just got ridiculously drunk all over the place and it was fantastic. i spilled on my new dress but it was worth it. more pix later. i'm ridiculously stressed and have to study for my econ mid-term! woooo, time 2 cram. i need a breather and some relaxation but not until tests are over.
1 luv?

[10 Oct 2008|02:33am]

marta and i

i'm in a bad mood.
i don't like school.
i am forcing myself to do homework and study hard this quarter rather than just blow it off and it's not making me happy. i feel like my whole life revolves around my classes right now and that's not the way i want it to be. i don't have time to relax. the weather getting colder is making me anxious. i hate being this way, so unhappy. i told myself it was going to be an amazing year and it's really not. my life is falling apart and everything i hold near and dear to my heart is disappearing. i have always had those times in my life where i decide it's time for a new beginning, to drop everything and start fresh, and i thought my life was finally heading in the right direction when i had my last "new beginning". but i can see clearly now it's time to start fresh again. i don't know exactly what needs to change but i'm really frustrated and i feel like i'm consistantly getting fucked over by the direction my life takes. i'm always needing one of those "new beginnings". i just want to finally be satisfied and on the right track. why do i have to always start over?
2 luv?

happy birthday to marta [05 Oct 2008|09:49pm]
i threw a party for marta

it was goofy and fun
some things: jello shots, hookah, and ice cream cake
i'm surprized how many people i fit in my apartment
6 luv?

hi [03 Oct 2008|08:58am]

4 luv?

[02 Oct 2008|11:03am]
i am now an x cubs fan

it's because of that fucking assface baseball team that the MSTRKRFT show i bought a ticket to has now been moved to the double door and is 21+. i'm so pissed. SO PISSED. so now i'm not allowed to attend. HNNNNGGGG!!!! URGHHHHHH!!! i might try to get in anyways but i don't want to loose $20 that i could get refunded.

the point is really: FUCK YOU CUBS. FUCK YOU.
2 luv?

[01 Oct 2008|04:31am]
watch this sometime in your spare time yo

scary shit

Esoteric Agenda

[24 Sep 2008|08:19pm]
who let this dog out???

and i'm really ill and missed a bunch of class
i think i have the flu
my mom yelled at me today for being sick
8 luv?

also, i dressed up like a wench [19 Sep 2008|07:31pm]
although i kind of look like a jungle princess i am trying my hardest to be wenchish

arrrr matey

hmmm as long as i am updating this shit again i will try to tell you about my life. let's see. i am getting hit on by a lot of lesbians lately ... like ones that try to make out with me at parties... i don't know if i give off that "i like to kiss girls" vibe or something??? i do like to kiss girls but i don't like getting hit on in general. by anyone. there was also a guy that hit on me and tried to kiss me but i screamed "bloody murder/i have a boyfriend" and ran away.

college is a lot more gay than i thought it would be. my books cost over $9000 and my power-level is not nearly as high. i'm taking a really awesome cultural anthropology class and a pretty cool global connections course for which my professor is adorable and old and quite cuban. he calls me Majee. although marta (bffffff) and i now attend the same school i hardly see her because she is so fucking busy being awesome at viola and i am busy being a hermit and surfing the web or being perpetually hungover. no, i take that back, i have not been half the alcoholic i was this summer. i am also getting closer with some people i wasn't very good friends with last year and it's cool. i should also note that every time i go to my anthropology class i cry a little bit because i don't have money to spend at anthropologie. then i spend the class fantasizing about new dresses and explaining the large hadron collider to my professor.

ummmmmmmmm i'm going to do one of the following things:
1. finish the quarter at depaul and spend break in peru and then transfer to columbia
2. finish the quarter at depaul and spend break in peru and then work a ton and move to peru and get my undergraduate degree from a college there.
3. continue school at depaul and be miserable, visit peru sometime in the next 2 years.

lolwutttttt my lifeeeeeeee
1 luv?

it's talk like a pirate day [19 Sep 2008|04:45pm]
so here is my booty

1 luv?

It's poop time [15 Sep 2008|07:15pm]
lil lesb!

MY WRISTS!!!Collapse )
1 luv?

[08 Sep 2008|10:45am]
lol seriously FUCK

i got the same composition/rhetoric professor i dropped last year
how did that fucking happen?
1 luv?

[01 Sep 2008|11:32am]

pic unrelated
this morning i woke up sobbing!
it was a terrible dream
and i couldn't stop crying for 3 hours

now i'm okay though
i forgot to dye my hair before i showered today
my roots are awful i can't even look in the mirror
but in like 2 minutes i'm going out for thai food with marta
holy shit have you heard AmpLive's new album????

AmpLive - All I Need
2 luv?

[31 Aug 2008|01:12am]

i got a new dress
i got drunk tonight
i got to see brianna my friend and massage therapist
it was awesome
we talked about butt sex in the bathroom
and got hit on by this guy who was wearing a tinkerbell shirt

other than that i'm cool
i miss my boy
but it's been like a day
girls are crazy about things like that
i just get anxious and wish i could cuddle

things in chitown are good
and drunk
3 luv?

[29 Aug 2008|12:57pm]

i bought a ridiculous jacket today at a thrift store
it was not worth $6 but i got it anyways because i am ridiculous

marta (bfffffff) moves to chicago at the end of this month. thank god. i need my best friend here. it's nice to have someone so close to me; and we got each others' backs. girl time is so necessary when you're in college.

in less exciting/more depressing news, danny is moving to las vegas and i am really sad. it's going to be really hard to be away from him. i enjoy spending time with him so much and he makes me so happy. i'm going to miss having such amazing intimacy with a boy i care about so much.

but right now i'm just trying to live day by day, taking what life has to offer, being as ridiculous as possible, and trying to enjoy whatever i can, instead of moping around and being a bummerton. key word: trying. we'll see how things go.
11 luv?

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